Congregated here are quotes found through an extensive research process outlined as follows. Throughout any regular day, while browsing the internet for whatever reason, one may stumble upon a good quote and say "wow, that's profound." Those I find worthwhile or funny are posted here.


Sumerian Proverb

Because the clever shepherd became confused, his sheep did not return.


Neil Gaiman, American Gods

I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen—I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, and that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.


Larry Miller as Walter Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

You know, fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still let's me play a few innings. You've had me on the bench for years. When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game.


Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.


Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.



The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.


Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know?

Patrick Verona: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.


Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona, 10 Things I Hate About You

Patrick Verona: I had some extra money lying around. Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl.

Kat Stratford: Is that right?

Patrick Verona: Yeah, but I screwed up. I fell for her.


Larry Miller as Walter Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Walter Stratford: I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl today, and you know what she said to me?

Bianca Stratford: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom"?

Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said "I should have listened to my father."

Bianca Stratford: She did not.

Walter Stratford: Well, that's what she would have said if she wasn't so doped up.


Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Kat Stratford: You don't care if I ever wake up.

Patrick Verona: Sure I do.

Kat Stratford: Why?

Patrick Verona: See, because then I'd have to start taking out girls who actually liked me.

Kat Stratford: Like you could find one.

Patrick Verona: See, that, there—who needs affection when I have blind hatred?


Mark Fisher

Observing humans under capitalism and concluding it's only in our nature to be greedy is like observing humans under water and concluding it's only in our nature to drown.


Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona, 10 Things I Hate About You

Patrick Verona: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?

Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.


Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cameron James, 10 Things I Hate About You

Cameron James: Would any of you be interested in dating Katarina Stratford?

Guy: Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?


Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat…

Kat Stratford: Tempestuous?

Ms. Perky: Heinous bitch is the term used most often. You might wanna work on that.


Alison Elliot as Anne Sullivan, The Miracle Worker

James Keller: You feeling sorry for yourself, Miss Sullivan?

Anne Sullivan: Yes, but just this once.

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