The Doctor

Me? I am the Doctor.

Yakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

Timmy Turner - "The Fairly OddParents" (2001)

I don't believe in luck but I do subscribe to the theory of horribly inconvenient coincidences.

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Jon Stewart

I don't know what all the controversy is about, quite frankly. I've met Eminem, I met him backstage, and he's really gay.

Ellen DeGeneres

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh.. is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh.. and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.

Bill Gates

Because TV is moving into being delivered over the Internet -- and some of the big phone companies are building up the infrastructure for that -- you're going to have that experience all together.

Richard Nixon

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.