Congregated here are quotes found through an extensive research process outlined as follows. Throughout any regular day, while browsing the internet for whatever reason, one may stumble upon a good quote and say "wow, that's profound." Those I find worthwhile or funny are posted here.


George Carlin

Some folks are forever telling us the glass is half full. Others that it is half empty. Did it ever occur to any of these folks that maybe the glass is too big?


Albert Einstein

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

Antonia Phillips

In the bloom of the smallest petal, the death of the brightest star can be found.


Henry Kissinger

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.


Alice Kahn

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.


Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.


Leo Buscaglia

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Benjamin Franklin

The moral and religious system which Jesus Christ transmitted to us is the best the world has ever seen, or can see.

R. A. Heinlein

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Mahatma Gandhi

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

e.e. cummings

To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Frank Lloyd Wright

The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.


Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.


Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.


Charles M. Schulz

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead

Rosencrantz: I don't believe in it anyway.

Guildenstern: What?

Rosencrantz: England.

Guildenstern: Just a conspiracy of cartographers then.

Tom Stoppard

It’s not the voting that’s democracy, it’s the counting.


Italian Proverb

After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box.

Sir Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the Boy Scouts

In all of this, it is the spirit that matters. Our Scout law and Promise, when we really put them into practice, take away all occasion for wars and strife among nations.


I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker.


Steven Wright

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, Wish you were here.


I know why the email doesn't work. It's because AOL doesn't like you.


George Bernard Shaw

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

Edmund Burke, Irish orator, philosopher, & politician (1729 - 1797)

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Fairy God-Mother, Walt Disney's Cinderella

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Timon, Walt Disney's The Lion King

Hakuna Matata!


Lestat de Lioncourt - Interview with the Vampire

Merciful death. How you love your precious guilt.


Monty Python and The Holy Grail

In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels... And there was much rejoicing.

Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut (1953-1994), computer scientist and educator

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Desiderius Erasmus, Adages

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.


Clientcopia : Coping with stupid clients : Quotes, Comments & Remarks

Stupid Client Quote #80 - Don't use too much red, our tests show that red downloads slower.

James A. Arconati

In this country, we abandoned long ago the idea that morality should be legislated... wait.. can someone tell me again why we did that?


Mahatma Gandhi

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.


Jedi Master Minos Fel'Kona - Post-Order 66 (currently missing)

It's a conceit of our culture, I suppose. We all have an imaginary audience, a clamor of voices in our minds that tell us that what we have to say is important, is worth being heard or read. I'm not so sure anything I've ever had to say was worthy of either. I'm a man. Nothing more. That I have worn Jedi robes most of my life, that I wield a lightsaber, doesn't change that my skin singes just as quickly when exposed to flame as anyone else's might, doesn't change that I sometimes wonder what is to become of us all, in the wake of recent events.



In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.


Dr. Teeth (of the Electric Mayhem)

Boy, it'll be so fine and laid-back and mellow and profitable.

Robert Wilensky

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.



I stand here without fear because I remember. I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me but because of the path that lies behind me. I remember that for 100 years we have fought these machines.


Ronald Weasley

Spiders... the spiders... they want me to tap-dance. And I don't want to tap-dance!
Memorable Quotes from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)



If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


Richard Strauss

Never look at the trombones. It only encourages them.


Carrie Fisher

Instant gratification takes too long.


John 3:16-17

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God sent his Son into the world not to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Psalms 30:5

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Maya Angelou

...You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise....


1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.


Mahatma Gandhi

Cowards can never be moral.


J. R. R. Tolkien The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
British scholar & fantasy novelist (1892 - 1973)

All that we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.



What we do in life echoes in eternity.


Oscar Wilde

Don't be discouraged if your children reject your advice. Years later they will offer it to their own offspring.

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.


Bumper Sticker

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

2005/07/20 Collected Quotes

A rose by any other name would likely be 'deadly thorn-bearing assault vegetation.'



Computers are like air conditioners. They stop working once you open windows.


Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

God is dead.

God (Α & Ω & ∞)

Nietzsche is dead.

Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.


A witty saying proves nothing.

Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919)

Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.

Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)

That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.

Steven Wright

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

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