Demetri Martin

This is very autobiographical. This is the cuteness of a girl versus how interested I am in hearing about how intuitive her cat is. You see, the cuter the girl is, the more I'm willing to hear about the cat. Oh really? Yeah, he's very intuitive. But you'll notice, at a certain point, I don't care how cute you are. I don't wanna hear about your fucking cat anymore. I hate your cat. When you leave the room, I try to get it.

Francis Bacon

He that will not apply new remedies, must expect new evils: for Time is the greatest innovator: and if Time, of course, alter things to the worse, and wisdom and counsel shall not alter them to the better, what shall be the end?

Thomas La Mance

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.